When I started training with the Aquatica triathlon team in Turin, I wanted triathlon to be just a game. I didn't want it to be more than that. I had finished racing in alpine skiing five years earlier and had trained consistently and at a high level for 15 years. So I didn't want to get back into any other training routine, nor to get back into a racing mindset. I had gone through much stress already. Triathlon, in my mind, was supposed to be fun: a game, and nothing else.
The first two years into the triathlon bubble were just that. Yes, I gave myself the goal to do a half-ironman because I saw Lance Armstrong winning the 70.3 in Hawaii, but I had zero ideas on how to get there. So, I was in the hands of my first coach, the former Olympian from Ukraine Vladimir Polikarpenko. The training was tough at first (I didn't know how to swim 50 meters in the pool without stopping), but I trusted the guy blindly. I was modest because I knew nothing about the sport and I was playing with a new toy.
That was my goal, and I had already achieved it.
The things moved on a little. Did my first sprint (and first-time open-water swimming at the same time) in a lake in Germany and thought I would have never made. But I made it. I raced my first 70.3 in Austria with the idea of finishing in maybe 6-7 hours. I did it in 5 hours and 30 minutes.
Before then, I never thought of doing a full Ironman. "Too long and too hard," I thought. And then, two years later, I finished my first (and only full so far) in 10 hours 30.
"That's it," I thought, " no more Ironman and no more triathlons." I was ready to retire from competitions. After 15 years of skiing and five years of triathlons, I thought that was it.
But then I went on, raced 2 x ITU Long Distance Triathlon World Championships (16th in the first, in Canada in 2016), and probably finished 15 more middle-distance triathlons on the way there (three last year with the intention to qualify for the 70.3 IM World Championships). While I write this, I'm already signed up for another 70.3 and another full one, the second I'll ever race.
The point is: endurance sports are addictive. And if you tend to be an addictive personality like myself, well, it's easy to get into an addiction. It may look like a better addiction than drinking or doing drugs, but it's still an addiction. I'm not only saying this because I feel like I am addicted to endurance sports. In reality, right now, I'm aware I was addicted to it, but I'm in a much better place. My focus on this triathlon path has switched again. Now I want to learn as an athlete and become a better coach. There is no more intention to qualify for any World Championship, nor the will to get into the top-10 in the world. Nor to get any PB.
I want to learn about something that is still new to me (although I've into this world for at least a decade now) and then help others who may be at the beginning of their trajectory.
That's why I'm writing this. I want to flag the inherent risks of endurance sports and make sure you don't twist your passion into an obsession and an addiction. Once again, I want to look at some research to help everyone understanding better what I'm talking about.
The literature on the subject is quite vast, and "Exercise Addiction in Practitioners of Endurance Sports: A Literature Review" is summing it up with methods and precision.
To make a long story short, although I suggest you to read the full report, endurance sports are addictive for a physiological reason, and excessive training - from a healthy practice - can become an unhealthy practice (both physically and psychologically).
Experts call this addiction the "runner's high." And with good reasons, because that "sport high" derives from opioids. These opioids, however, are produced by our bodies. When we exercise, our bodies produce endorphins, which makes us feel a sense of euphoria (familiar?). The other process that creates the addiction is the conversion of these endorphins into their opiate-like peptides. When the peptides bind to the opioid receptors in our brain and do it repeatedly for an extended period, well, our brain asks for more. As simple as that.
That was pretty revelatory to read and helped me to understand myself a bit more. I have to say, the addiction I have felt through endurance sports is more connected to the period of my life where I was rock-climbing and into alpinism, and where the addiction to endurance sports was going hand-in-hand with eating disorders. But I felt someone else may find himself or herself in this situation right now or maybe close to it.
Being aware of these tricky dynamics is essential.
When you get focused on your short and medium-term goals, it is easy to lose focus on another area of your life and getting into this spiral system more. So be aware and ask yourself: am I falling into this category? Am I experiencing mood modifications, including that "high" of feeling better when you exercise? Am I feeling particularly noticeable or essential? Do I feel that I need to withdraw from some areas of my life? Do I have conflicts with my inner circle a bit too often? Am I feeling like I am getting worse after a period of getting better? Do I always need to train to release the stress of my life? Do I train because I want to achieve a particular body image?
These are only a few questions that can help you understand a bit more about yourself. If you feel like there is more you want to know, be in touch or consider talking with a professional.
Please don't lose the passion of what you do, and do it for the right reasons.